Canadialand 2 : Son of Canadialand

Today was... Churchy. I am here visiting relatives who happen to be moderately to extremely religious. I am not. This is not a problem, as I do consider myself a spiritual person and respect the religious beliefs of others. Where it does become a problem is when those others religiously believe things that I don't agree with.
Even that is possible to overcome, I can dissemble like nobodies beeswax, but in this case...

I spent the morning having lunch in the church/meeting hall of the local Salvation Army branch, where my great-aunt and uncle are active members. I also spent the morning carefully avoiding all personal pronouns when discussing my current lovelife. "My ex and I broke up a few months ago"... "The house belongs to my Ex so I am just taking my furniture"... " I went to Australia with my Ex and stayed with....hi....hi...my never-to-be parents-in-law". It's both interesting and tiring. It becomes even more interesting (but slightly less tiring) when you have to explain why you don't have kids/wife/girlfriend, being all young, strapping and studly as I am. I have now resorted to telling people that "no lady has managed to catch my heart" and "I'd like to, but they run darn fast on those strappy high heels of theirs".

I fooled nobody, I think, but I like to feel like I did. At least I didn't swish. I did enjoy the moment at the table with the cake where somebody was explaining how being Gay didn't happen here only for a young boy to come up and asked specifically for the piece of cake with the purple flowers and the marzipan ladybugs. He pointed at the piece, limpwristedly, and swished off happily back to his mom. Hmmm, no gays.

On an unrelated note, it turned out the boys name was Keegan. Which is kinda cool, as I was named after a soccer player called Kevin Keegan. But for the grace of God (which he still basked in), there went I.

I have to say darn, as all forms of swearwords are heavily frowned upon. When I went to Australia with Tafkab I was warned to keep it clean, but since I heard both of his parents cursing within minutes of arriving I thought I was safe. Here, no such luck.

So far, we've caught up with local family members, easily distinguishable because they are the only few who are not dressed almost exclusively in tans and dark greens, or ohter colours best described as "Motley". The weather has turned a bit sour today, which is less pleasant, especially as we are planning to go to Niagara Falls tomorrow. A trip to Toronto is no longer on the books as we have been almost fully booked throuhout the week we are here.

So far, none of the usual family mishaps have occured, allthough I did almost walk straight through a flyscreen several times. I am hoping for a good slapstick moment in the next few days.

Greetings from lovely Woodstock, Ontario, home of the motley crew.

 Kevin