Style: Hats

Aah yes, the hat. The ever present symbol of the extremes of society. Class, elegance, hoodlums, they all have their hatty counterparts, and they all rely heavily on certain assumptions when it comes to head coverage.

Now, being sadly left over when the hat-abilities were handed out, I’ve never become a complete master of the hat. I do not have a good hat-face, and as such don’t wear them. The only thing ever looked remotely ok on my was a very, very bright blue Wallace & Grommet baseball cap, and as I am fast moving away from 25 years of age, this is not the decision I should be sticking with.

I can say this about hats, though, and I need to give Boyfriend his due for inspiring part of the upcoming rant-ette.

Why, in name of all that is good and beautiful in the world, why, when so much can be said and alluded, so much beauty and sophistication can be hinted at with a hat, do some people insist on choosing a hat so badly fitted that it looks at best like a bucket on a pumpkin?

Not a day goes by but that I have to be faced with somebody in a too small baseball cap, fully laced up in the back if possible as well, balanced in such a way that the bill protrudes scant millimeters past their forehead with the bulk and bubble of the cap sticking several inches out from the top of their head. And every time it is all I can do to stop myself from removing said hat, enlarging the head-space several hundred yards, and plonking it back so that it actually touches skin on more than the lower brim of the piece.
If that would fail, maybe to remove some of the skull of the wearer, as they are not quite making good use of it as it is anyways.

Seriously people, do we have no mirrors, or do we just refuse to self-reflect?

A pillbox hat on a woman can look instantly stylish, a wide brim harks of society, and a veil has mystery and distance. Men can go for the classic fedora, or a panama for that swanky feel of colonial times, and both sexes can easily go for the fun sportyness of a baseball cap. Hell, even beanies have their skater-charm.

As said, I can’t quite go on and on about hats, don’t know much about hatstory, but as with all clothing, size matters, and choosing the wrong one will rarely make you look smooth and well put together. It will make you look like a dork.