suckitysucksuck

Every now and then things completely stop making sense.

Not that this is such an uncommon occurrence in my life, but some of those everynowandthens can really take the spunk out of you.

There I was, happily on my way home after receiving some good news. I was invited for a 2nd interview at the company where I was hoping to be employed in the near future, and I had been asked to fill in an online test which would measure my abilities and suchlike.

Well, online I went, logging in with the appropriate data, and off I went. The object of the test (PAPI-testing) was to measure abilities and pitfalls by choosing one of two given statements which best reflects your personal preferences. These could vary from “I would rather pick flowers than shovel dung” to “I like standing up in small rooms”.
Well, off I went, clicking and selecting and choosing and appraising and whatnot, shouting and whooping with the sheer joy of being alive.
After I had finished this I was invited for the second interview. Oh joy of joys, oh happy chaos, I was judged and found worthy of entering the hallowed halls of employment.
Well, I was allowed into the hall, and into a small interview room, where the first thing said was “Well, Kevin, you did the test very fast, fastest ever, for us, even”
“Why thanks”
“And the first thing that strikes us is an apparent and blatant disregard for personal organization. Very detailminded, highly creative, leader, but I would say that your desk would mostly resemble a cross between a trash-heap and a landslide.”
“euhm… well…It’s not that you’d find week old pizzaboxes and stuff on there, but no, personal organization has never been my strong point indeed…”
“No problem, some people need creative chaos.”
The subject fizzled out at this point and well, I am not that good at organizing my own stuff. I can set up a workable archive like no one’s business, can organize an employee get-together at the drop of a hat and am mostly able to oversee loads of ongoing projects at the same time. BUT STILL my own desk looks like a cross between a thrift shop and a library gone guerilla. And woe to any who would try to discern any type of pattern in all this.

This has worked well for me, I have risen to pretty much where I want to be, nice responsibilities, creative output, not too much hassle system-wise, all’s well.
But then…there came reports.. These weren’t as bad as all that, I was asked to keep a semi-detailed list of the clients I’d got across my little desk during the day, and that wasn’t as bad.
More reports, then more, and even more, and different kinds, and though it annoyed me a little, I did fill out the lists and forms as best as possible.

Now, yesterday I was asked to oversee the input of reports. Not asked, it was demanded of me. Reason: Doing the reports would give me a stronger grasp of personal organization and force me to maintain an organized workload.

I CAN’T DO THAT. I DO NOT HAVE THAT ABILITY. I am almost physically unable to do my OWN reports, let alone collate and do the required mathematics and calculations to do them for the entire department. You can force me all you want but it will take literally hours for me to do something that the person who did them previously (who is still working in the department and has an accounting-background) would’ve done in less than 15 minutes.
I was so close to crying I could actually feel the tears already.
And not just because I now had to do something I very much resented doing, but also that the only reason I was selected for the job was some spiteful revenge for the simple fact that I was rarely on time or complete in my own reporting. This had annoyed a manager, who considered forcing me was a real sweet plan.
That was yesterday.. today was my first day as the departmental graph-er. And it sucked. Really.
It took me three quarters of an hour to even begin comprehending which numbers went where, the why I’m still unclear on and where the numbers had to come from is a next to complete mystery to me.
They were done, in the end, and I can try again this afternoon.

And you know, I have written proof by our own HR-department that a task like this should not be asked of me unless it cannot be in any way avoided. That I would be one of the least likely people to bring this of to a good end... Still...

So the manager comes and tells me the reports look good, but the production is very bad.
I explain that my own production was sucked into the freaking reports, and the only response was “you’ll learn.”

I will not learn. I will do these things for two hours everyday until someone notices that my production drops every freaking week. Not that this is what I want to happen, but really, I can't do these things, I will forget, I will procrastinate to the point of avoidance, and the added stress will make me cranky.
AND I will start looking for a new job. Which is not in and on it’s own a solution, but to do this for two more weeks will sap any enjoyment of my work anyway, and that is something I’d like to avoid.
My two direct colleagues actually have already complained that it is complete nonsense to ask us to do these things when the person who set up the reports and is by nature very well suited to keep them is sitting all of two desks away, but they as well got the general “do it because I say so” response.

Hrmpf.
Well, enough ranting for today, I’ll promise to do a more regular and frequent update of this thing.

Also: does anyone know of any open positions in the general customer care/account-management-field?