the bridal issue. (1)

Two weeks ago, I gave you some pointers on how to arrive elegantly dressed at a wedding you have been invited to, with a swift cliff-hanger on bridal couture. Now we all realize that the world of the trousseau is slightly wider than one can easily cover in two paragraphs so I’m giving this another shot.

Wedding dresses are a big thing. They are on average ridiculously expensive, you will only wear them once (even if you do get married several times over the course of your lifetime it is very tacky to wear the same dress twice) and to be perfectly honest, given that you are dealing with a slightly biased audience, it is very easy to not really look as good as people tell you you do but you’ll only really find out when you are looking at the photos a little while later. And you’ll probably won’t mind anyways.

But I will.

So for my sake, let’s go over a few things that are easy to do wrong while shopping for a dress and how you can easily avoid a raised eyebrow from the fifth row messing with your head.

Fashion
Wedding dresses used to follow modern fashions very, very faithfully. And then flapper dresses happened, and two world wars, and when the sartorial and political smoke cleared, they didn’t anymore. For the last 80 years or so, wedding dresses have been modeled along Victorian lines, with long waists, bustles and petticoats and florals featuring very heavily. In economically more affluent years, fashions become sleeker, and in these years the Grecian lines come in, with high waistlines, clear lines and simple shapes with little decoration being the norm.

If there is anything in the world that embodies artistry, elegance and style, it is the kimono, a simple garment that has weathered every storm to come out clean, elegant and with the utmost respect and understanding of tradition. Wedding dresses should do the same thing, showing grace, purity and style, but also show that what you are doing has a sense of timelessness, tradition and respect to earlier generations.

Do not:

• Purchase a hello Kitty wedding dress (Google can find it for you), “the dress from that video-clip”, “The dress from that movie” or a dressed themed in a way that your mother or as yet unborn child would not recognize.
• Buy a “Fashion dress”, including short skirts, showgirl skirts or dresses in colours that are completely hip right now but will not be soon.
• Get a dress that is “Just like the one X had” whether X is a friend of yours, or a bridal magazine, or a celebrity. Your wedding is YOUR wedding, not a copy of somebody elses.

Do:

• Get a timeless dress that would have looked good and that you would have appreciated seeing in photo’s 50 years ago, and 25 years ago, as it will mean you will probably appreciate it after that time as well.
• Realise that a wedding dress is a uniform. The colours and shapes have been pretty much set. But as with any uniform, it is the individual details and chamrs that make it stand out. Nobody else in your life has your exact combination of features, and you would feel strange if they did. The same should go for your dress.
• Allow yourself to be inspired by dresses you liked, but mostly by those that were worn well by people who look like you. If you are not a 6ft Amazonian blonde, getting all your inspiration form photos featuring 6ft Amazonian blondes will ensure that you will not look good.

Form
Yours, mostly, should dictate the shape of your dress. As with all clothing, if it neither obscures what you have yourself nor pushes it into a new shape altogether, you are probably good. But wedding dresses are a little bit special in this regard, and allow a little leeway when it comes to the shape you are providing…
Do not:

• Overemphasize your natural features. If you are busty, do not also go for tight corsetry and push-ups, as it will just look cartoonish and cheap. Also, if you have the slightest feeling that people in your audience will think “Oh there she is again with her…”(and they will) you should adjust to avoid. 
• Overestimate your abilities. The run-up to your wedding is stressful and busy, and you will probably not go to the gym 17 times a week or stick to a very rigorous diet. By all means strife for losing some weight, but don’t expect to drop several sizes for the big day. Shop accordingly. 
• Underestimate your abilities. You probably have a few amazing features that a wedding dress will allow you show off to their fullest, and there is nothing wrong with allowing it to do so. Just don’t go overboard, or veer into tacky.

Do:

• Be honest with yourself. You could be a little chubby, or your upper-body could be somewhat long, or you could have disproportionate arms. These things happen. Don’t hide them, but find a dress that makes them less noticeable.
• Allow your personality to shine through in your choices. If you are a natural tomboy with no tendency for girlishness whatsoever, do not go for an enourmous frilly ball-gown. Adjust what you wear to what makes you feel comfortable, and pretty. Not just on of those two.

I am realizing this is getting somewhat lengthy so I am going to get back to the final topics (patterns, advice and friends) on wedding dresses later this week. Watch this space!